There's been so much change over the past 24 months it is unreal. I can't even begin to explain.
I like change, i get bored of things staying the same but what I have realised is that i get used to something. Sometimes, I can adjust quickly other times it takes an age to get used to it. Albeit this may be normal who fucking knows.
We lived as a family in one house for 15 years, Emma then went off to uni and then I moved, my parents moved 2 months later.
So much change.
In my old room, as you entered the room, my bed was located top right of the room. This was as so as of like summer 2011 I think. We had a big clearout of my room.
I had two beds in my room and moved the other bed right to the front side of the room. That bed was there for like 6 years until it was removed.
I remember many memiries in my bed, not all gross don't worry just memories.
I remember being in year & i think staying up late on my phone on YouTube watching videos at 144p, I remember playing with my toys early in the morning (bed in old position) and so many more.
Being here in my parents house moving my same bed into the same corner of the room I'm remembering some memories, not all bad but I remember looking up to the ceiling counting the beams yet I can't remember how many there were.
I remember being on my phone on ebay looking for an ipod touch (this was in october 2012) texting Riain, a scar.
I remember so much.
But here, It don't know what I feel but I don't like it.
It feels strange, it feels unfamiliar, my parents feel yet the same yet so different (they have problems they need to fuckung work on but will they....?)
i go to corby, I feel safe, I feel myself, I feel comfortable. I come to my parents, I feel fear. I remember getting Tilly (Crowland) so not too far away from here.
I miss the old house. I just don't feel I got to say goodbye.
It all goes back to missing the old me, I fucking need me. I fucking miss him.