If I had a pound for every time I should have taken control over matters I didn't, I would be a fucking millionaire by now.
Parents, they are great and I love them but they really need to sort their shit out. They don't know how to communicate clearly nor nicely yet they've been married for 30+ years, and dad needs to pull his finger out and help mum.
Dad works in sales, he's been in this industry for the past 30 or so years and mum is a waitress. Different ends of the spectrum and this has caused more arguments than it's worth thinking of. It all comes down to money right?
Anyways, they have argued with me present for years, first one was when I was 10 I think on NYE. Something like that anyways. Never understood why they can both be so unreasonable or aggressive. They both simply don't understand or listen to eachother's perspectives and my god, it's infuriating.
I'm going to jump a lot in this post just becausbe that is how things are at this current moment of time (12/04/2024 @ 23:54).
I was cooking dinner tonight and dad was being great at helping me, which I appreciated.
Mum then was being a pain in the ass and moaning about where a lime was and went in a strop because we couldn't find where the open packed of limes was. She blew a gasket and dad shut her down, because well she was well out of order. Later on she went in a strop after Dad was playing a film they were both watching way too loud and she was then saying that Dad was hovering over me when I was cooking. Like wtf, first of all - stop bringing random topics up and secondly - don't make an issue if there wasn't one.
Damn, she made so many comments I wanted to write about but they have gone out of my head as all things do tend to.... I hate my brain!!
What gets me is that yes, Dad can do more. He is more than capable but doesn't. All mum needs to do is speak politely and things get done. If I can do it, anyone can!
Anyways, back to the main topic of this post - taking control.
I've been getting better at doing this over the past 18 months and i'm very proud of myself for this.
Now, I have made the decision I'm not staying here any longer, I'm getting the van fixed early tomorrow (I need to fix the roof as it sort of blew off and it's being affixed with some sort of shitty clips) and a ratchet strap, and I need to do some paint work, and pack.
I am putting my foot down, I am not going to be in this shitty, toxic environment any longer.
Yes, I do love them but I cannot and will not make myself suffer. I have no need to.
It isn't my marriage I need to save. Yes, they are my parents and essentially my childhood, but I won't lie - I've been let down so much by them and I need to put me first.
I don't recall them both asking me how I am actually doing. It's always been me asking them.
I'm sick of dis shit.