I had a session about 2 weeks ago, and I raised some feelings that when I spoke to anyone, and even think (you know, that inner voice…yeah that one) I didn’t recognise who it was who was talking.
I’m being straight – I will not let anyone tell me “Oh well barely anyone knows who they are”. Yeah I get that, but I feel this to the point where I feel uncomfortable when I talk, I guess because as I don’t know who is talking, I don’t trust them. //BiPolar?
I remember being young, well my childhood not knowing who I was and feeling the above.
It came to being 16, and working in a theme park where I found my voice and I knew who I was. I knew I was changing but I was happy, I knew who Lewis was. I was in touch with who he was.
It’s so fucking hard to describe this but it’s like there is two personalities/two of me.
There is the me that sees, the me that is my eyes, the me that listens, what I can hear. And there is the me that talks, the me that makes decisions.
The two me’s don’t mix, It confuses me so fucking much