Dissociation; it feels like it sounds. Confusing, impossible to figure out.
It's the bain of my existence right now, I feel so lost, I feel so out of everything. I can't figure out how it really feels like as it's a headfuck..
Writing this post, I'm on a train to St Pancras for work and I look out of the window and I see fields, I see scenery but it means nothing.
It's like I'm seeing out of my eyes but I have no identity/persona. Like i'm just not here.
Reality is that I don't know where I am, who I am or what's going on.
I'm just floating.
I've just googled this quickly and I think I may be developing depersonalisation-derealisation disorder;
"Depersonalisation is where you have the feeling of being outside yourself and observing your actions, feelings or thoughts from a distance. Derealisation is where you feel the world around is unreal. People and things around you may seem "lifeless" or "foggy"."
Oh fun!