I’m moving to (lets’s say for simplicity) Liverpool in 2 weeks and I am so so excited!
I’ll be able to have my freedom, do my own thing but also communicate with my work mates who mean the world to me!
I’m being honest, the only thing I will really miss is Sophie. She is just the best dog ever, she is so so caring, so cute but is just there always and fixes everything. I can just go and fuss her or give her a hug and she appreciates me. She appreciates me. She loves me. I feel loved by my dog…
Yet, my parents are different. Of course I love my parents but time is time. They don’t listen to each other or anyone and often talk over others/each other resembling poor social skills. Monkey see monkey do has came into effect. I’m working in stopping the cycle.
I know this week has been hard, so fucking hard. I had a work dream about Wednesday and then the PC. Lewis what are you doing.
I feel tired, upset that I’m saying a temporary goodbye (yes temporary Lewis) to Sophie, I’m leaving everything behind and all that.
However, I know why I am leaving; fantastic work opportunity, new people, new place to live and finally make friends, maybe even be with the girl of my dreams!
But another benefit is to start of my recovery of CSE.
I’m worried that I’ve fucked up the survey on Wednesday but then I know I haven’t. I need to be confident in my work. Lewis, okay?
I’m just tired and need to chill.
A plan – get your shit done and then relax and reward yourself.
You’ll learn how to reward yourself.
I had a thought a few days ago about what I would say to myself a few years ago.
This was brought on when Cassie/Carrie or whatever she was fucking called, asked me what I would say to myself (16 at the time) going back to being 4,6 etc. I didn’t know what to say. I got anxious and nervous and froze.
To when I was 6, I would say to relax and have fun. It’s okay to not fit in but just be yourself, Be confident being you.
To when I was 16, it’s all going to work out just fine. Just keep fighting and don’t give up. Your doing so so well, you’ve got this.
To the future Lewis – I won’t give up, I will never give up and I will make it. Thank you.