They say looking back at your childhood should make you feel happy, feel cherished and bubbly remembering all the good times.
I just wish I could feel those things, but I don't.
I feel fucking confused, I feel so much discomfort, so much pain.
I see a different person, I know what happened but I also don't know where it all started to go wrong. Was I destined to go down this path?
Am I meant to be where I am now? Am I meant to feel so confused? Am I meant to dream of going back to the old Lewis?
I just fucking miss him, I miss the life I used to live.
I feel so out of place it's so hard. I feel lost.
I feel alone. I'm struggling.
As time moves on, looking back feels harder and harder, I feel I'm drowning.
I know you can't turn back the clocks, fuck me I fucking wish I can.
I know I need to live with these thoughts and emotions but by doing so it feels iike i'm welcoming 7 knives at me all at the same fucking time.
That ain't fun let me tell you this now.
I miss him. I miss you Lewis.